I’ve watched a lot of Survivor. Maybe too much. It’s a game with intense strategy, physical feats, and cunning deceit. With twists, advantages, immunity, idols, and everything in between, so much goes into why a person gets the boot and what order people exit the game.

Not today.

Today, I’m vibe checking the Survivor 49 cast.

First Boot: Shannon Fairweather

Vibe Check: A Disney-adult hippie that used an AI ‘deity’ to train for Survivor? I already want her off my tribe.

17th: Jeremiah Ing

Vibe Check: Got hit by a car on the way to the airport to head to Fiji. Lord, if that is not a sign.

16th: Matt Williams

Vibe Check: White dude with dreads. I mean, that’s enough.

15th: Nate Moore

Vibe Check: Film producer for Marvel. MCU fell off.

14th: Alex Moore

Vibe Check: Works in politics. Likes it.

13th: Jason Treul

Vibe Check: Smash Bros. player.

12th: Sophi Balerdi

Vibe Check: Too much like Dee. That’s scary.

11th: Michelle “MC” Chukwujekwu

Vibe Check: Only seen like five seasons. “Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.”

10th: Steven Ramm

Vibe Check: “Charlie Davis”

9th: Jake Latimer

Vibe Check: Great story, however hockey-player-turned-male-stripper-turned-correctional-officer does ruin that a bit.

8th: Kimberly “Annie” Davis

Vibe Check: “Trashy Annie” by name, Debbie 2.0 by vibes. Being a CEO and a lead in a band is very cool. Unfortunately for her, hometown Portland, OR and current residence Austin, TX makes her too weird for anything above eighth.